Click Chicks - Food

Hiii click chicks!  I am so happy to be back on my computer and linking up again!

Okay... so I am happy to be linking up, but I'd rather still be in Grand Cayman than on my computer #truth

I didn't take a specific picture for this link up, as I've been off in lala land enjoying my summer to the fullest - so instead of taking a picture of my fake chicken nuggets that I ate for dinner last night, I looked through the photos from my first trip this summer and found this gem.  The focus isn't exactly on the food, it's on the people.  But isn't that what food is about?  Nourishing our bodies and bringing people together around a table?  Well this photo has a lot of real gems sitting around it, some of these people I've known since they were born.  Others... not until later, but there is goodness here and I'm happy to share it with you all.

In case I never said it (I know I never did... I guess you could say I took a blogging break...) I was in Grand Cayman for my only siblings wedding.  See the guy on the left with the striped pink shirt and the great smile?  That's my baby bro.  The pretty blonde next to him?  His new bride.  So happy to welcome her to the family.  This photo was taken the night after their wedding, the "kids" who were still left all went out together.  His groomsman, girlfriends, our cousin, a sibling of a groomsman (who I have known since he was born!).  A good bunch here.  And?  There is food on the table.

And... because I can.  A bonus photo, the one picture I took during the ceremony after I helped Declan get down the aisle.  (I didn't walk him... I just got him over this little ledge and he held my new SIL's baby bible and walked nicely to the bride and groom where my bro gave him a pack of fruit snacks.  It worked out perfectly.)

Here they are.... it was a gorgeous ceremony.  

Don't worry... the photographers pictures don't have beach chairs in them ;)

Click Chicks - Rule of Thirds

When I first read about this challenge I was a little nervous.  Rule of thirds?  Say whaaat?  I had no idea what that meant.  I also didn't have the capability to take a new photo this week so I had to use and old one.  While looking through my photos I felt like I finally was starting to understand what "Rule of thirds" meant.  I'm not completely confidant but I am grateful to have a reason to start looking at my photos with a more critical eye and to learn what I should be seeing/creating.

So here goes nothing... two photos I felt were interesting and not just because of what was in the center of the image.  There is more going on then there usually is in my images.  What do you think?  

These were both taken back home in New Jersey.  The top one has an interesting story behind it, maybe I'll get up the nerve to tell it one day.

Click Chicks - Weather

These images were taken on Easter when we had an intense hail downpour like I have never seen before in my life.  We had just sat down to eat a meal when the noise became strange and loud outside and when we went to look... it was incredible.  Hard to capture with out knowing how to use my camera very well (I'm working on on it) but I did the best I could.

It's hard to tell but in this first photo the ground was just wet and covered in water/hail.  It was coming down so hard it was almost like a tiny ocean, waves moving up and down as the down pour continued, mini ice pieces swirling about on the ground making interesting patterns.  

The upcoming schedule click chicks challenge we have:

June 6th- rule of thirds

June 13th- close up

June 20th- dad

June 27th- upside down

July 4th- red, white, and blue

i regret.

I regret that..  I didn't blog more often.

I know, so lame.  If I wanted it enough I would have done it right?  No.  I think honestly that anxiety won that battle.  I have struggled with anxiety my whole life and I think it was winning for a while there.  I'm trying so hard to let that go, let go of those uneasy emotions and just enjoy my life and blogging for what it is.

I really wish I had done monthly posts for D. I've had 3 different blogs in his life time; but I've been so hesitant about actually publishing anything that I just didn't. And I would have appreciated being able to look over them now so much.

He's getting so big.

 And on that note.

 Here's to writing whatever we want. 

 Cheers!

Click Chicks - Celebrate

Celebrate

This photo was taken on our last night at Disney World in December 2012.  We were waiting on our reservation for one of the nicer restaurants at the Grand Floridian.  

We were celebrating our family, Christmas and Mickey Mouse.  We had many "to us again" toasts and it was lovely.

(C, D and I live across the country from my parents and my brother and his fiance so this was our big Christmas Hurrah)

This was the most celebratory photo I could find, the restaurant is shown behind us.

Click Chicks - Mom

Click Chicks

Mom

My brother and my mom having a little fun.

These photos were taken when I was in Jersey.  We met my brother during his lunch break at a playground we used to go to as kids that we lovingly call "The Duck Pond".  

Declan's Grammy Jan riding the Dinosaur together.  Declan says "Rawwwr"

Next week's Click Chick's theme is:  Celebrate!

When Mama doesn't feel so good.

I'm sitting at my computer because our couch is terribly uncomfortable and my back hurts from laying down for almost 24 hours straight.  Declan is watching Little Einsteins and I can't Disney Junior one.more.minute.

I have to say... I am sick of being sick.  There is always a little part of me that finds some relief in being "allowed" to just rest, but really?  I'm not a fan.

I was "lazy" for years.  What is that they say about being lazy.. it's not lazy if you are sick?  Well I had Lyme Disease/ Fibromyalgia struggles for years and years.  Before I knew what it was, I was considered lazy.  After I knew what it was... I felt lazy.  

For much of my adult life I had a choice on what to do with the little energy I had.  I could either do something productive like work, clean, grocery shop or... something I preferred, go for a walk, be outside, and enjoy those little bits of energy. On days where we would go to an amusement park, sea world, anywhere that you just walk and walk and walk... I would be pumped you know, get a bit of a high from the fun of it all.  Then?  The ride home?  Was I the one driving?  No way.  I was sleeping.  6+ hours in the sun, walk walk walking?  I was done.

My health status is complicated.  There are no absolutes for me.  I was diagnosed with Lyme Disease at age 23 but it was presumed I had it for 10+ years.  We're talking sick since elementary school.  The details are all a blur.  Have I mentioned my memory is more than a bit fuzzy?  I have seen Momastery mention Lyme Brain, well I forget what she called it but.. it made me cry.  Because I deal with that every stinkin day, and I have for years.  When I was 18 I cried and tried to convince my mom and my boyfriend at the time, that I had some kind of Alzheimer's.  Seriously.  That is how difficult I found it to get my brain to function normally.  I couldn't remember the simplest things.  Where I put my keys, what my schedule was, what day it was, what word I wanted to use when speaking, what school assignments were due and when, etc.  It was so confusing and scary because it felt like there was a hole in my mind and things kept disappearing into it.

Then I got sick... really sick.  I tried some different medications for the Fibromyalgia (I was diagnosed with that at 18 or 19) then got sick from those medications (thus my - medication? no thank you! stance at this point.)  I was put on sooo many different things.  There was one that made me gain weight, like I was bloated... and the one that gave me the munchies... fun times.  I gained 40 lbs over that period, It was awful.  I didn't mind so much at the time because the pain had felt intense and I just couldn't handle it anymore. For years I felt angry with myself for not caring, for being so desperate.  I felt angry with my doctors for not seeing what was really going on.  I am not a fan of any doctor who will evaluate a patient for 15 minutes and then give them medication.  THAT is lazy.

Anyway this wasn't supposed to become a rant on how much I dislike lazy doctors or medication.  It's just a part of my story.  Unfortunately "not feeling good" has been a huge part of who I am.  So on sick days... like yesterday and today, when I literally just could not do it - I try to take a step back and evaluate my life as a whole.

Sure there were years (and years) of pain and medicated delirium, but after 3 years of hardcore antibiotics and learning about nutrition from an amazing but kooky doctor (who would spend an hour with me at every visit, answering every single question) I am... better.  I am not healed.  I don't think there is such a thing as healed for my condition, but I'm better.  I'm no longer empty, I can spend energy and I retain it and gain more.  That is how I know things are better.

It was scary, becoming a mom.  There were moments when I wasn't sure I could do it, pull off the mom gig. Be "on" 100% of the time.  And the truth is, I'm not.  My husband takes over a good percentage of the time when he gets home from work.  Sometimes I lay down when he gives D a bath.  And often when D wakes up at night, Caleb is the one who tends to his needs.  Often, not always.  He knows I need my sleep.  I feel the Fibromyalgia creeping back in if I get less than 8.5 hours a night.  He also knows 9 would be better.

He is my rock, my everything.  He married me when I was a mess of a sick person, with more pill containers in my purse than makeup or chap-stick   He stuck by me, he loved me through it.  But I swear.. when I get sick like I did yesterday, I see a little bit of fear in his eyes.  Fear of going backwards, fear of me falling down and him just not having what it takes to lift me up.  But he doesn't need to be.  I am better, I'm different.  I am more capable then I have ever been and healthier than I have been.

There will always be hard days.  We all get food poisoning or the flu, or colds from time to time.  Sometimes these sick days are nice reminder of where I was and how far I've come.  I love being Declan's mommy and taking him for walks and to the park every day.  I savor it.  Those are moments I never knew I'd have and sometimes a sick day mixed in there is a good reminder of just how good I have it now.

Because I do.  I really do.