Well here it is! The big 3-0. I'm 30!

I did not have a big birthday post scheduled.  I am not a very big "yay it's my birthday" type of person.  Ever since the eve of my 7th birthday I have been the type that doesn't particularly enjoy their special day.  I just didn't want to turn 7, I liked being 6.  I have to say, I wouldn't mind being 6 for a day now.

23 years later and it's not all that different.  Except this year I decided we'd do a bit more to acknowledge all of our birthday's.  I'm trying to shape us into one of those families that loves birthdays and makes a big deal out of everything because, why not?  The real purpose is to expose Declan to other people's birthdays, so he can understand that life isn't always going to be all about him.

It's not even 10:30 AM and we've had a lazy morning, which is my favorite if I'm being honest.  I watched last night's episode of Parenthood while Declan played with his train set.  I cuddled him during Max's speech and bawled my eyes out when he started clapping for Max.  My heart was filled with hope that in this day and age, all kids are accepted for who they are.  We are headed there and this sweet moment made my morning really special.

Now?  Taylor Swift is on the view - I love her.  I know it's cliche, everyone either loves her or hates her.  I don't care man, I truly enjoy her music.  I love to sing along to it, I get excited about it.  That's one of life's greatest joys for me.  Singing along to the radio.  I am so excited to unwrap the Target Special Edition copy of her new album tonight when I open my presents.  I am guessing there will be a really fun dance party as soon as that one is unwrapped.

I woke up unexpectedly to a hot vanilla latte and a bagel smothered in cream cheese (this Jersey girl's favorite).  So far it's been a great quiet day, and I'm enjoying it.

30 is not so bad.

Two years

Has it really been two years? 

I can hardly believe it...

But it has.  What a wonderful two years it has been!

I really wanted his birthday to be special, even more than last year.  I wanted him to get it, to know that it was his special day.  It's not always easy explaining things to a (almost) two year old.  I did what I almost always do, and I got some children's books about birthdays.  I read a few and decided that "Happy Birthday Little Pookie" would be the perfect way to show Declan that it was his day, his birthday.  

We read the book over and over for a few weeks.  We talked about birthday's, balloons, little pookie, presents, pancakes, etc etc.  We talked until I was blue in the face.  And then the morning of his birthday...

There were balloons...

Daddy made Pancakes Supreme 

(lucky for me, daddy makes them in the book)

And there were presents

 He was thrilled to get his very own kitchen

Another favorite was the bubble gun

I'm confident that he got it, he might not have understood that he was born two years before that day (he definitely didn't).  But for sure, he knew the day was all about him, that he was special and that he was loved.  I'm calling that a success!

10 Random Tidbits About Me

1. My name is Rachael, my family calls me Rae.

2. I'll be the big 3-0 this week.  I'm in a state of denial.

3. I'm Canadian but I was born in Colorado (dual citizenship, woot!), but I grew up in New Jersey and my parents still live there.

4. I went to Messiah College in Pennsylvania (I miss PA so much this time of year), I changed my major 3 times, got very sick and never graduated.  I would love to finish up a degree some day.

5. I was diagnosed with "Chronic" Lyme Disease when I was 22, the doctor said I'd likely had it for over ten years.  I feel a  lot better when I get enough sleep.

6. As adventurous as I am I get majorly homesick, especially around this time of year.

7. I love to take pictures but I really am not very good with my camera yet, it's kind of embarrassing.  I would be lost with out lightroom.

8. I am in the process of decorating the first place we've ever lived that really feels like "home".  I am loving it.  I'm still searching for dozens of items, and moving things around, but I'm really enjoying the process.  It's been a while since we've put anything but tapestries up on our walls.  It's about time!

9. As much as I am unsure and unsettled having moved up to this foothill town in Northern California, I am also loving it.  Something about people actually smiling and waving back to you really makes me feel good, I love that.

10. I want to get pregnant while I'm 30.  I wanted a 3.5 year age difference between my kiddos but I'm starting to think a bit less would be okay.  Right now Declan is 2 (birthday recap tomorrow) so I've still got some time.  I'm getting the itch, been seeing way too many pictures of sweet newborn's lately.  It's so tempting :)

I'm still new at this.

How did it get to be so long between posts again?  I'll tell you.  I wrote the last post in a hurry.  I didn't want to continue going on and on, and I didn't even really want to read over it.  I was over it.  I am over it.  We moved.  We did it.  And the truth is change isn't easy for me.

I've been feeling a bit claustrophobic lately.  A bit suffocated.  We have moved somewhere with plenty of wide open space and honestly?  I was starting to feel like it was too much.

I told myself "There's a Kmart here, a Safeway, a CVS. Anything we NEED we'll be able to get it."  It made me feel better for a few weeks.  Then the leaves starting turning, the weather began changing and I got a bit panicked.  After living in Southern California for 5 years my fall wardrobe is a bit limited.  My winter wardrobe?  Non existent. 

Part of the problem (the whole problem) is that I weigh 30 pounds more than I did when I got married (5 years ago).  I needed new clothes!  Suddenly driving an hour to the closest Kohl's, Old Navy, Carter's (gotta keep the kiddo warm!), and a big huge (beautiful mall) with a Gap, Nordstrom's, etc. seemed really far.  Doing that drive alone with a toddler To!Go!Clothes!Shopping! a nightmarish idea.  The whole thing had me a bit stressed.  

Sound pathetic?  Well it probably is.  However, it's new to me.  Our town, the long drive to get to a metropolis area, all that.. it's new to me.  Luckily my parents came to visit this week and my mom joined Declan and I for the trip.  Boy did that make all the difference.  Extra hands are the most amazing thing when you are shopping, I got to take my time.  Mission accomplished.  I still need a winter coat, I'm trying to decide if buying online is a terrible idea.  

Anyway the point is, we're here.  We've moved.  I am not ready to look back right now.  It's hard enough to start a new life, looking backwards while you are trying to restart is no way to succeed.  I know that from experience.  So I'm putting a halt on any plans to post about those things for now.  It's time to look to our future, get out there and meet people.  Get a library card, look at churches, start our life outside our home.

~~

What do I plan to do now?  (She thought to herself...)

-Use the blog to work on a writing style.  Right now I'm all over the place.  It's been a long time since I put pen to paper.

-Document our new life, look to the future.

-Do flashback posts, a baby book of sorts. I regret not doing this from when Declan was a baby.

-Push fear out of my mind and do this because I want to do it.

-Work on my photography, editing skills, etc.  Use this place to display some of it and hopefully get some tips/pointers/feedback.  It's something I do only for fun, to document. I'm a DSLR newb and loving it.

Our trip up north was amazing! Our arrival was less than perfectly executed.

(This post ended up being extremely rambley and therapeutic.  It'll be a few parts.  Sorry, I'm not sorry.)

Well, we made it.  We are in our new home, a two story condo, and we pretty much love it.  It's a lot nicer than we expected.  Our road trip with a toddler?  Amazing.  It was so much fun.  If you follow me on Instagram you may have seen some of what I am talking about.  Southern California's coast is amazing, it would have been hard not to enjoy it.

However, our arrival here was less than spectacular.  We expected to be in a motel for a few nights when we first arrived, we were told our stuff would take 4-5 days to arrive.  That was kind of a bummer but totally acceptable.  What happened wasn't.  Our things took 8 days to arrive.  Those extra 3 days with out clean clothes and toddler stuff (if you have a kid you know what I mean).  Never mind the extra expense of staying in a hotel for more nights than anticipated, it was honestly infuriating.  We were so disappointed with the level of service, it was a real pain in the neck.

Of course now that that is mostly over and behind us, it doesn't sound quite as painful as it felt in the moment.  It was a mistake to assume that the worst part of our trip would be altering Declan's sleep schedule, or driving in the car with him while he was awake.. or really to assume that the worst part of the trip would have anything to do with him.  He was mostly amazing.

Our Big Adventure Begins

Anyway, so here is how it went down.  So I can remember it.

The moving truck arrived about 3 hours late on the big day.  No big deal. We were still scrambling around stuffing random leftover objects into boxes.  My husband took down the crib early in the day, thinking the movers could complete Declan's room really quickly.  Mistake #1.  Poor kiddo had to hang around his home while all his familiar objects (high chair/crib, etc) were put into a huge truck.  (We had talked about how this would all go down 1000x so he was not surprised or upset, just... tired.) 

The movers didn't end up leaving until around 5 in the evening.  Declan's only ever had 1-2 other days without napping and they've never been pretty.  He conked out the second his head hit the car seat.  He was great when we drove by my BIL's to drop off our second vehicle (that a truck transport brought to us), he slept the whole time.  After a little visiting and some more goodbye hugs we were off.  Our big adventure had begun.

We got to Camp Pendleton (the only place on the 5 that there are NO exits) and toddlerboy woke up and full on melted down.  He just lost it.  Could not control himself, screaming/crying lost it.  I imagine he was thinking "I WAS AWAKE ALL DAY, WHY AM I NOT IN A CRIB???? I HATE MY LIFE." etc etc.

It worked out though.  In my ever growing lack of comfort with solid plans (seriously, strict schedule/plans give me major anxiety, yes, it drives my husband crazy) I had the foresight to not book a hotel.  However, because I'm a researcher by nature (and by trade) I had googled about 100 different hotel options during our 10 hour drive at any given/point/town/etc.

And boy oh boy was this Southern California loving girl happy that we got to spend one last night in Orange County.  My husband and I fell in love (realized we were in love) in Orange County and I know it's overplayed and over talked about but it really is beautiful and amazing.  I was thrilled to pull into a hotel right near South Coast Plaza and make the most of it.

Once we were inside Declan went right back to sleep and he was happy about it.  The real adventure wouldn't really start until the next day.

Cont..