a simple thanksgiving

Just the 3 of us on a beautiful day.  

So much to be thankful for.

 For beautiful fall leaves

For safe places to climb and play

 For open space to just run only minutes from our home.

For fresh air and our beautiful surroundings.

For God's amazing creation.

But I must admit, more than everything else, I'm thankful for our health and for our life together.

Adjusting.

It's taking me some time (as it always does) to come to really grasp the enormity of change that happened when we moved up here.  Some of the things that have changed are things that can't ever be replaced here and that takes time to get used to.

We've come to really accept our town for what it is.  It's a historical town with a funky charm.  It reminded my mother in law a bit of Vermont mixed with Southern California's relaxed attitude.  When I first visited it reminded me of Colorado, the mountains and the west.  The town has a huge focus on buying local everything.  There is a store with 100% local items from over 50 local artists/crafters/creators.  It's really pretty interesting.

The more I focus on what I love about it the more I like just simply being here.  We can walk to at least 5 winery tasting rooms, restaurants, a couple bookstores, a record store, and loads of sweet funky shops.  I love it.  It'd be nice to have some time sans toddler to actually check out of the stores but regardless, window shopping here is still a treat.

I've made progress.  I finally swallowed my bizarre fear and called the preschool that I'm interested in.  I need to meet some mamas.  I've met a few very nice people through my husband's work but I need some mom to mom interaction.  I'm going to bring Declan to a mama & me type class to check it out, I am excited but also pretty nervous.  I hope people are nice.

just because

Well here it is! The big 3-0. I'm 30!

I did not have a big birthday post scheduled.  I am not a very big "yay it's my birthday" type of person.  Ever since the eve of my 7th birthday I have been the type that doesn't particularly enjoy their special day.  I just didn't want to turn 7, I liked being 6.  I have to say, I wouldn't mind being 6 for a day now.

23 years later and it's not all that different.  Except this year I decided we'd do a bit more to acknowledge all of our birthday's.  I'm trying to shape us into one of those families that loves birthdays and makes a big deal out of everything because, why not?  The real purpose is to expose Declan to other people's birthdays, so he can understand that life isn't always going to be all about him.

It's not even 10:30 AM and we've had a lazy morning, which is my favorite if I'm being honest.  I watched last night's episode of Parenthood while Declan played with his train set.  I cuddled him during Max's speech and bawled my eyes out when he started clapping for Max.  My heart was filled with hope that in this day and age, all kids are accepted for who they are.  We are headed there and this sweet moment made my morning really special.

Now?  Taylor Swift is on the view - I love her.  I know it's cliche, everyone either loves her or hates her.  I don't care man, I truly enjoy her music.  I love to sing along to it, I get excited about it.  That's one of life's greatest joys for me.  Singing along to the radio.  I am so excited to unwrap the Target Special Edition copy of her new album tonight when I open my presents.  I am guessing there will be a really fun dance party as soon as that one is unwrapped.

I woke up unexpectedly to a hot vanilla latte and a bagel smothered in cream cheese (this Jersey girl's favorite).  So far it's been a great quiet day, and I'm enjoying it.

30 is not so bad.

Two years

Has it really been two years? 

I can hardly believe it...

But it has.  What a wonderful two years it has been!

I really wanted his birthday to be special, even more than last year.  I wanted him to get it, to know that it was his special day.  It's not always easy explaining things to a (almost) two year old.  I did what I almost always do, and I got some children's books about birthdays.  I read a few and decided that "Happy Birthday Little Pookie" would be the perfect way to show Declan that it was his day, his birthday.  

We read the book over and over for a few weeks.  We talked about birthday's, balloons, little pookie, presents, pancakes, etc etc.  We talked until I was blue in the face.  And then the morning of his birthday...

There were balloons...

Daddy made Pancakes Supreme 

(lucky for me, daddy makes them in the book)

And there were presents

 He was thrilled to get his very own kitchen

Another favorite was the bubble gun

I'm confident that he got it, he might not have understood that he was born two years before that day (he definitely didn't).  But for sure, he knew the day was all about him, that he was special and that he was loved.  I'm calling that a success!

10 Random Tidbits About Me

1. My name is Rachael, my family calls me Rae.

2. I'll be the big 3-0 this week.  I'm in a state of denial.

3. I'm Canadian but I was born in Colorado (dual citizenship, woot!), but I grew up in New Jersey and my parents still live there.

4. I went to Messiah College in Pennsylvania (I miss PA so much this time of year), I changed my major 3 times, got very sick and never graduated.  I would love to finish up a degree some day.

5. I was diagnosed with "Chronic" Lyme Disease when I was 22, the doctor said I'd likely had it for over ten years.  I feel a  lot better when I get enough sleep.

6. As adventurous as I am I get majorly homesick, especially around this time of year.

7. I love to take pictures but I really am not very good with my camera yet, it's kind of embarrassing.  I would be lost with out lightroom.

8. I am in the process of decorating the first place we've ever lived that really feels like "home".  I am loving it.  I'm still searching for dozens of items, and moving things around, but I'm really enjoying the process.  It's been a while since we've put anything but tapestries up on our walls.  It's about time!

9. As much as I am unsure and unsettled having moved up to this foothill town in Northern California, I am also loving it.  Something about people actually smiling and waving back to you really makes me feel good, I love that.

10. I want to get pregnant while I'm 30.  I wanted a 3.5 year age difference between my kiddos but I'm starting to think a bit less would be okay.  Right now Declan is 2 (birthday recap tomorrow) so I've still got some time.  I'm getting the itch, been seeing way too many pictures of sweet newborn's lately.  It's so tempting :)

I'm still new at this.

How did it get to be so long between posts again?  I'll tell you.  I wrote the last post in a hurry.  I didn't want to continue going on and on, and I didn't even really want to read over it.  I was over it.  I am over it.  We moved.  We did it.  And the truth is change isn't easy for me.

I've been feeling a bit claustrophobic lately.  A bit suffocated.  We have moved somewhere with plenty of wide open space and honestly?  I was starting to feel like it was too much.

I told myself "There's a Kmart here, a Safeway, a CVS. Anything we NEED we'll be able to get it."  It made me feel better for a few weeks.  Then the leaves starting turning, the weather began changing and I got a bit panicked.  After living in Southern California for 5 years my fall wardrobe is a bit limited.  My winter wardrobe?  Non existent. 

Part of the problem (the whole problem) is that I weigh 30 pounds more than I did when I got married (5 years ago).  I needed new clothes!  Suddenly driving an hour to the closest Kohl's, Old Navy, Carter's (gotta keep the kiddo warm!), and a big huge (beautiful mall) with a Gap, Nordstrom's, etc. seemed really far.  Doing that drive alone with a toddler To!Go!Clothes!Shopping! a nightmarish idea.  The whole thing had me a bit stressed.  

Sound pathetic?  Well it probably is.  However, it's new to me.  Our town, the long drive to get to a metropolis area, all that.. it's new to me.  Luckily my parents came to visit this week and my mom joined Declan and I for the trip.  Boy did that make all the difference.  Extra hands are the most amazing thing when you are shopping, I got to take my time.  Mission accomplished.  I still need a winter coat, I'm trying to decide if buying online is a terrible idea.  

Anyway the point is, we're here.  We've moved.  I am not ready to look back right now.  It's hard enough to start a new life, looking backwards while you are trying to restart is no way to succeed.  I know that from experience.  So I'm putting a halt on any plans to post about those things for now.  It's time to look to our future, get out there and meet people.  Get a library card, look at churches, start our life outside our home.

~~

What do I plan to do now?  (She thought to herself...)

-Use the blog to work on a writing style.  Right now I'm all over the place.  It's been a long time since I put pen to paper.

-Document our new life, look to the future.

-Do flashback posts, a baby book of sorts. I regret not doing this from when Declan was a baby.

-Push fear out of my mind and do this because I want to do it.

-Work on my photography, editing skills, etc.  Use this place to display some of it and hopefully get some tips/pointers/feedback.  It's something I do only for fun, to document. I'm a DSLR newb and loving it.

Our trip up north was amazing! Our arrival was less than perfectly executed.

(This post ended up being extremely rambley and therapeutic.  It'll be a few parts.  Sorry, I'm not sorry.)

Well, we made it.  We are in our new home, a two story condo, and we pretty much love it.  It's a lot nicer than we expected.  Our road trip with a toddler?  Amazing.  It was so much fun.  If you follow me on Instagram you may have seen some of what I am talking about.  Southern California's coast is amazing, it would have been hard not to enjoy it.

However, our arrival here was less than spectacular.  We expected to be in a motel for a few nights when we first arrived, we were told our stuff would take 4-5 days to arrive.  That was kind of a bummer but totally acceptable.  What happened wasn't.  Our things took 8 days to arrive.  Those extra 3 days with out clean clothes and toddler stuff (if you have a kid you know what I mean).  Never mind the extra expense of staying in a hotel for more nights than anticipated, it was honestly infuriating.  We were so disappointed with the level of service, it was a real pain in the neck.

Of course now that that is mostly over and behind us, it doesn't sound quite as painful as it felt in the moment.  It was a mistake to assume that the worst part of our trip would be altering Declan's sleep schedule, or driving in the car with him while he was awake.. or really to assume that the worst part of the trip would have anything to do with him.  He was mostly amazing.

Our Big Adventure Begins

Anyway, so here is how it went down.  So I can remember it.

The moving truck arrived about 3 hours late on the big day.  No big deal. We were still scrambling around stuffing random leftover objects into boxes.  My husband took down the crib early in the day, thinking the movers could complete Declan's room really quickly.  Mistake #1.  Poor kiddo had to hang around his home while all his familiar objects (high chair/crib, etc) were put into a huge truck.  (We had talked about how this would all go down 1000x so he was not surprised or upset, just... tired.) 

The movers didn't end up leaving until around 5 in the evening.  Declan's only ever had 1-2 other days without napping and they've never been pretty.  He conked out the second his head hit the car seat.  He was great when we drove by my BIL's to drop off our second vehicle (that a truck transport brought to us), he slept the whole time.  After a little visiting and some more goodbye hugs we were off.  Our big adventure had begun.

We got to Camp Pendleton (the only place on the 5 that there are NO exits) and toddlerboy woke up and full on melted down.  He just lost it.  Could not control himself, screaming/crying lost it.  I imagine he was thinking "I WAS AWAKE ALL DAY, WHY AM I NOT IN A CRIB???? I HATE MY LIFE." etc etc.

It worked out though.  In my ever growing lack of comfort with solid plans (seriously, strict schedule/plans give me major anxiety, yes, it drives my husband crazy) I had the foresight to not book a hotel.  However, because I'm a researcher by nature (and by trade) I had googled about 100 different hotel options during our 10 hour drive at any given/point/town/etc.

And boy oh boy was this Southern California loving girl happy that we got to spend one last night in Orange County.  My husband and I fell in love (realized we were in love) in Orange County and I know it's overplayed and over talked about but it really is beautiful and amazing.  I was thrilled to pull into a hotel right near South Coast Plaza and make the most of it.

Once we were inside Declan went right back to sleep and he was happy about it.  The real adventure wouldn't really start until the next day.

Cont..

I should be packing...

Yesterday I got an email from shutterfly.  You know the type.  "Reminder, only one day left to get your free photo book!"  And because I've had a project on my mind to do for awhile, I got on the computer last night and just sat for a few hours.  Working, editing, cropping, practicing.  You see, I'm new to Lightroom. I'm new to photography, and I want what I'm working on to be good. 

After my grandmother passed away two years ago one of my awesome cousins took the time to scan in a whole bunch of old family photos.  Then she sent everyone who asked for one a CD with all the pictures.  I thought it was brilliant, we all get to keep those precious pieces of our history.  The photos are not all picture perfect, they were scanned and many of them are almost 100 years old.  Thus, needing to know how to use lightroom.  If anyone has any tips on editing old photos, send em my way.  I will do this over and over until I get it right.

So, I decided to take advantage of my cousins hard work and make a photo book out of the pictures. Because my family is unaware of this blog (at least for now) I am going to post a few of the pictures I've been working on.  I want it to be a surprise when my mom sees it :)

My grandma as an infant.

My grandma as a young woman. For all I know it was the day of her wedding!  

My plan is to have my mom help fill in all the blanks and who's who, and then re-print.

Here's a few of my mom when she was a kid, she's the blonde.

I'm having so much fun doing this, but I really should be packing.

Getting it together

A few tidbits on what has me buzzing at the moment.

-Moving companies.  What in the actual heck.  Maybe it's just me but it's driving me absolutely bonkers not knowing when these guys are coming.  I know, we are very lucky my husband's company is footing the bill for some strong young lads to move all our crap into a truck, drive 9 hours north and unload it all.  But at the same time?  Not knowing when they are coming to get the stuff (Friday or Saturday) or when it will arrive (1-7 days).  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  This mama is more than a little stressed out.  

-The Virus- I caught a nasty bug last weekend.  I was in bed from Saturday morning-Monday night.  It was ridiculous. I don't remember the last time I was that sick and weak for such a long period of time.  Really put a cramp in my packing/organizing/sanity.  Thank God for my amazing husband who took on the role of "only caretaker" to our toddler without flinching.

-San Diego Safari Park- Pretty much our favorite thing about where we live now (aside from the obvious, the ocean.)  We planned to go over this afternoon and do one last stroll around.  Say goodbye to the Elephants, especially the babies we've watched grow into rambunctious kids.  And the sweet baby gorilla who is now a toddler and adorably hilarious.  And the relaxing tram where if you squint your eyes and are really good at pretending you can convince yourself (momentarily) that you are indeed in Africa on a Safari.  Such an amazing place we will miss so much.  Crossing our fingers and toes we can make it there later this week.

-Just plain stress.  I'm stressed.  I can feel my adrenaline levels increasing by the minute.  Instead of packed boxes, all I can see are things that need to be packed.  I'm buzzing with the fear that we won't get it all done (I know we will).  I just don't KNOW it yet.

-We really are ready for roots.  So excited to move into our new condo. Hoping it meets all our expectations for the next stage in our life.  We are so ready to move on, taking a leap and hoping our feet land in a nice garden where they won't mind staying for awhile.

Friday Evening Photos at the Antique Steam Engine Museum

There is a little place in our town where you can be and pretend you are somewhere else completely.  It reminds me of summer's on the farm up in Canada, but I imagine if it was flatter it'd look more like Texas.  Desert climate and all that.  Not that I'd really know, haven't been to Texas yet.

Anyway, we just love going there.  A few times a year they have a big fair and all the old antique tractor's and cars are up and running.  There is a tractor parade, it's just amazing.  Heaven for a toddler boy.  And literally only a few minutes away, though it is not always open to the public.

Last night we lucked out, they were having a movie night on the lawn.  The model train museum was open for a few hours in the evening and the grounds and playground were all open.

We zipped over after my husband was finished work and I'm so glad we did.  Here are a few of the shots I took while we were there.

 Always smiling while he's sitting on a "Drac-dor" 

 "What do you mean you brought me here just to look at it?"  He was pretty disappointed the train wasn't running like it has been at fair's in the past.

    Antique tractor, these are up and running during the fair's.

 Enjoying a little time at the playground "weee"

  Best buddy's taking a walk, checking out all the tractors.  Like I said, little boy heaven.

See?  Practically Texas.  We are going to miss this special spot a whole lot when we move.

Two weeks, let the countdown begin.

Just another day in the neighborhood

We've really enjoyed (most of) our time in our current neighborhood.  The people are (pretty) friendly.  There's a pool that's (sometimes) clean.  But most of all there is a tennis court.  And we probably use it more than any other family/individual in our complex.  Almost every single day that we've lived here we've gone down there.  Just a two minute walk out of our front door and there is open space to run and play.  A rare and special thing in our urban area.

Today I brought my camera along.  To document, to capture, to remember.  We really have enjoyed our time here.  I know in a few years I'll hardly be able to picture his chubby legs toddling down the sidewalk, jumping with excitement.  Time to run, time to play, time to just be a kid.

A day at the track

It was an odd choice to start a blog during such a busy period of my life. It's harder to get on the computer and update/edit photos than I thought it would be.  We are just busy.

Busy experiencing life. Soaking up the last few days of grandparents visiting (my husband's parents can actually drive to where we live now) and trying to experience parts of San Diego that we haven't had the opportunity to yet.

And busy packing, we've actually managed to get some work done.  Proof:

On Saturday our little family along with Grandma and Grandpa went to the track.  I'm not the betting/gambling sort but the track in San Diego is world famous.  Del Mar Race Track was a huge escape and pleasure for the Rat Pack back in the day.  Old Hollywood really enjoyed going there and because of that there is still a hint of glamour.  My mother in law and I had such a good time checking out all the girls in their dresses with their hats, dressing in old Hollywood style.  It was fascinating!

Here is a shot I took of the horses finishing up a race.  A lucky man a few rows ahead of us was pretty excited.  I'm so thankful Android phones can finally use the Instagram app.  It's so useful during this season in my life.

We have a few things left to do on our San Diego bucket list.  Time is running out, special moments are passing quickly and everything feels like "the last time" it will happen here.  We are all feeling a bit sentimental.  Only two weekends left!

A hint of wanderlust and a lot of hope

So this whole blog title is a little bit ironic.  My husband and I both have a hint of wanderlust.  We've both traveled some and lived in different places in the U.S. and though we haven't traveled as extensively as we'd like, we really look forward to being able to do that one day.

The thing is while we are ready for roots, we still haven't found that place where we feel so at home that we just have to stay there.  And we are picky.  So picky.  But we're odd (very odd).  We come from different states, with different cities and different suburbs with different cultures and we just haven't quite found that place to call home yet. We've considered moving to a lot of different places.  Some would be moving backwards, some completely new adventures.  We chose a new adventure.

My little family (we have an almost 2 year old) is moving for the 3rd time in less than two years and the condo we've rented up north will be our fourth home together as a married couple.  We just celebrated our 5 year anniversary last week and we are currently in the process of moving 9 hours north of where we live now in Southern California.

We are hopeful. The town we are moving to is absolutely beautiful, picturesque.  It's a good size downtown for a fairly small population, plenty of restaurants, and shops to entertain tourists for a day. The schools are good, there are no gangs (like where we live now!).  I'm excited.  But that doesn't mean I'm not terrified, and I definitely have my reservations.

The one and only time I visited was last November and it was freezing cold. Colder than I remember winters in New Jersey and I was wearing my ski jacket.  Brrrr!  I had to buy a hat and I couldn't find one I loved, (I don't remember needing a hat in November in Jersey) so I bought one with a funny animal on it.  I wore it everywhere. And I got a compliment (I didn't take it off, I was freezing!)  That was when I decided I liked it there.  Even though I was cold to the point of uncomfortable, I felt like there was a chill atmosphere to the town/area and I'm really excited about that.

So we're off, moving in three and a half weeks.  On to a new adventure, a new chapter in our lives.  We really are hoping to feel at home.  And while we look toward and plan the future, we're looking forward to cramming in a few more adventures here in San Diego while we still can.