The truth is, I'm guilty of using it. And using it for ridiculous things. It's just not something I want my kid hearing. It's on the list in the back of my mind, things to never say in front of my toddler.
I'll be honest, there are times when I slip and I use a word from that list. To be totally transparent just the other day I was reminding myself that it's a miracle he doesn't say "Crap" yet and that I need to find a replacement word, a better way to describe what I'm feeling in that moment.
However there are things I think I've kept from him pretty well. The dreaded F word for one. And even more important to me.. the H word. I don't like the word - hate. To me, it's ugly and awful and I don't want my kid even knowing what it means much less using it. Not yet. I know everyone has their own "thing" - things they want to shield their child from being exposed to until the time is right. And of course it doesn't always work out the way we want, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try, does it?
So why all this chitter chatter? Why the "H" word?
I have gotten two books in the last few months, both from the scholastic book club, with the word hate in them. Both books aimed at preschoolers. Is it just me, or is that surprising? I was surprised. We've read dozens and dozens of books in this 2.5 years of life and I've only come across this word twice. The word wasn't used it an awful way in either book, it was dialogue. One time in reference to broccoli, so that's sort of understandable... but really? Is it necessary?
I just didn't even realize how much a word could bother me. We still read the books, I skip around it now, use other words instead. It's not that much harder to say "I don't like broccoli" than "i hate broccoli", I guess the attitude isn't really the same but I don't want my kid to have a word like that to use when he's feeling attitude.
So, Is it just me? Am I being extreme? I don't even know, it's just the way I feel right now at this point in his life. I want to keep him little for as long as possible.
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So I wrote all this the other day; before my other book post. I wasn't sure I wanted to post it. Then we were watching Clifford yesterday and there it was again.. the H word. He doesn't say it yet, but he's definitely heard it a few times. My feelings about it haven't changed, it's not my favorite. I think there are better ways to teach a child to express distaste or dislike of anything and everything.
What do you think? Have I become one of those uptight crazy parents? Please say it isn't so.
I don't like that word either actually. I really dislike the use of it towards people. A girl in school became a big bully towards me, and asked if I hated her. I flat out said no, I just didn't like her that much. The H word is so harsh, with no possibility of ever liking whatever the word is discribing. When I was growing up, I never wanted to hurt my parents and use that word towards them. Even in my younger days, there was something I thought would be devastating to a parent to hear those three words. I don't actually think I've said those three words towards anyone. People can change, and I don't like the absoluteness of the H word. I agree with you, there are much better words to use to discribe what you don't like. I think this is something I need to work on.
ReplyDeleteReally good point, lady. hate is a strong, strong word.....I haven't heard Emeline use it...she said "I don' like _____"--but now I'm going to be on the lookout for it. I bet I'll hear it everywhere.
ReplyDeleteThat isn't one of the words that make me cringe. Stupid is one for me that I see around in books. I would definitely correct him if I heard him use it. We don't use it so we will see if it comes up.
ReplyDeleteFunny cause Lola and I had a conversation about this not 2 days ago. We were reading a book that had a bully in it. And Lola said "I hate bullies." We had a discussion about the difference between hate and dislike. It is a tough road. They hear it everywhere, but really it is just us being vigilant to help correct why/when/how to act appropriately.
ReplyDeleteFor us we teach them that it isn't the word, it's the intent. That said. We've also taught ours that hate is the worst thing you can do to someone, because so much else grows out of it. So when they say it, we redirect.
ReplyDelete"Do you really hate carrots? Hate implies that you dislike them more than anything else in the world." They almost always rephrase.